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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26090833">emails from darth vader</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_skywalker/pseuds/jedi_skywalker'>jedi_skywalker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Gen, Humour, i dont know how hyperspace works and it shows, i just wanted to add a mention of thrawn, someone save piett, this is rubbish im just gonna leave this here, timelines dont match up, vader doesnt believe in subject lines</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:15:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26090833</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jedi_skywalker/pseuds/jedi_skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>this was prompted by a tumblr post about dark emails and I immediately thought of everyone's favourite sith lord.</p>
<p>Vader sends the most ominous emails and poor Piett just can't deal with the stress anymore.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Admiral Piett &amp; Darth Vader, Firmus Piett &amp; Darth Vader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>emails from darth vader</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is my first fic!! any constructive criticism is welcome as long as it's not mean. this isn't the best tbh it's the first fic i've written without immediately deleting it so i'm just gonna dump it here before i can change my mind. i guess i've just got to keep writing before i improve</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“To whom it WILL concern…”</p>
<p>Admiral Piett (a newly appointed position, due to quite foreseeable circumstances) allowed his heart a few moments to return to its normal pace. In any other case, such an informal and rude email would be met with a strongly worded response on proper conduct. But it wasn’t just any other case. This was from Lord Vader. The same Lord Vader who had given him his promotion. After killing his predecessor right in front of where he stood. From the other side of the ship. This can’t be good. Not at all.</p>
<p> Damn, pull yourself together Piett. He continued to read what may well be a warrant for his own execution, only to release a deep breath from the pure emotional whiplash he was subjected to. It was a reminder for a meeting with the Dark Lord himself. The most ominously worded reminder he had ever received, but a reminder nonetheless. Now secure in the knowledge that his existence wasn’t in jeopardy at that very moment, he was astounded by the way that Vader’s very demeanor could be felt through the written word. </p>
<p>Was this a tactic done on purpose to keep his subordinates in line, or had he just never learned any formal etiquette? Sure, etiquette is not the term one would use to describe Vader in the slightest, but being at the top of command for as long as he had, he definitely would have picked up a thing or two. Piett considered this for a moment before coming to the conclusion that Lord Vader probably just doesn’t care about email etiquette so doesn’t bother with it, and he can be a bit, well, rather dramatic. It’s not as if anyone would bring it up with him. Piett certainly wouldn’t be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A few months had gone by since his ‘promotion’, and Piett had settled well into the position and was as comfortable as anyone could be on the SSD Executor. Well almost, the ship medic did warn him about the risks of prolonged high blood pressure, but that was just an unavoidable element of working under Darth Vader. At least he was now used to the vaguely threatening emails the Sith often sent, his nerves were under tremendous stress those first few days.</p>
<p>He had performed very well as admiral, or at least to a satisfactory degree in Vader’s eyes. This he knew as he was still breathing. He saw newfound respect in his men’s eyes, they probably never expected him to last this long. He never expected him to last this long. But he never let pride or ego guide his actions, it wasn’t in his nature, and he had been a first hand witness to Ozzel’s own foolishness and consequential downfall. </p>
<p>And then a mistake was made in Vader’s absence. It wasn’t his fault, and nothing career breaking if he had been on any other ship, but unfortunately there were quite a few exceptions to a lot of rules on the Executor. A small miscalculation in hyperspace jumps threw their timing off by at least a week for their convene with the ISD Chimaera, where Vader was currently residing after a mission with Admiral Thrawn. Hopefully such a mistake wouldn’t warrant his separation from this mortal plane, but Vader wasn’t a very forgiving man and he had killed for less. </p>
<p>Piett prepared himself to make contact with Vader by taking a few deep breaths and replacing his worry with a neutral expression. However, the Dark Lord wasn’t available to take the call so Piett sent a message ahead and saw that it was both received and read. Can the Sith perhaps choke someone from another star system? No, that’s impossible… but so is everything Vader does on a daily basis. Given that there was no reply and he still retained full breathing function, Piett sat down and settled in for an anxiety filled journey. </p>
<p>****************************************************</p>
<p>Surprisingly he slept quite well, and when he woke he allowed himself some time to stay in that protective barrier from the outside world that one only achieves before they’ve left their bed. Reality came crashing back down to him when he heard a couple of notifications ringing off from his comm. He sat up, rubbing the remains of sleep out of his eyes before going to check what he had missed while he was out. The first three were just general emails he usually received from subordinates about daily runnings of the ship, and underneath those was one from Lord Vader which had been sent two hours ago. Oh dear.</p>
<p>“Admiral Piett,</p>
<p>PRAY THAT THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU BEFORE I DO…”</p>
<p>Oh, fuck. He may be used to Vader’s uniquely terrifying ways of communication, but never has something this strong been directed his way before from his superior. There was nothing else for it but to keep reading.</p>
<p>“I will need my rooms and medical suite fully prepared for my return, I expect absolutely no delays upon my arrival. The mission was a success so the Executor will only require a short liaison with the Chimaera, full preparations for cross boardings will not be required. </p>
<p>I am disappointed to note the delay of MY ship. The greatest vessel in the galaxy requires perfect punctuality if she is to retain her outstanding reputation. You are a far better admiral than Thrawn and I don’t want him believing otherwise over this event, he is already annoying enough as it is.</p>
<p>Below I have outlined a hyperspace route which will only take 53 hours to arrive at the rendezvous. The sooner I can be back on my own ship, the better. I hate it here. Perhaps the ship navigators need a stern reminder to do their jobs properly.</p>
<p>Upon my return I ask that I do not be distrubed, I trust nobody will be foolish enough to do otherwise.</p>
<p>Signed,<br/>Lord Vader.</p>
<p>p.s. Do not make a habit of this, Piett. It would be very inconvenient for me to have to find your successor.”</p>
<p>Piett was at a near breaking point. That had to have been done on purpose, either as a warning or a cruel joke. He was expecting a death certificate and instead received a small chiding. This job would truly be the death of him, there’s only so much strain his heart can be put under. He stood and began to get ready for the shift ahead of him, Lord Vader would be back with them in just over two standard days and Piett was going to make sure that there wasn’t a single thing out of line.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>piett is one more stressful day away from just straight up resigning lmao.</p>
<p>i know none of the timelines match and that thrawn should be living his worst life in the unknown regions with ezra, but i just wanted to mention him because he's one of my fave imperials. also vader does respect him he's just very petty</p></blockquote></div></div>
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